Sales Prevention Department, or Reasons to NOT buy our soap
Many companies have sales departments, but we are the first with a Sales PREVENTION department.
What are we thinking?
- We make a great product.
- We make it consistently.
- We use quality ingredients.
- We're proud of all our teammates, every one of whom plays a part in getting our product to you.
And we're experienced, not only in this product, but others. Frankly, we weren't born yesterday. We respect your intelligence and are giving it to you straight.
You might not like our product, for a lot of reasons. Some reasons might even be based on objective observations, like these:
- Maybe you don't like the shape of our bars, because they're wire-cut and can have sharp edges. We're working on making some fun shapes - so stay tuned!
- Maybe you don't like the color. It's not going to change. It's natural and we're not going to argue with Nature.
- Maybe you can smell something in the product, especially the liquid. Some people do. Most don't. Those who do think it's like smelling a wet dog, or a new baby. News Flash - We love babies. And we love dogs.
If you don't like it, don't buy it. Simple. Or if you bought it and don't like it, tell us and we'll refund your money. Also simple.
The product still works great. We've had customers who go crazy with it and try using it as a daily shampoo and even toothpaste. Please don't. At least, don't buy it for those reasons. If you want to brush your teeth with it, that's fine. You should probably keep it to yourself. You can even shave with it.
Oh, and what about the cost? Our soap isn't cheap when you compare bottle to bottle and bar to bar. But if you count how many uses you get from our products, we become competitive very quickly. In fact, a 1/2 gallon of our liquid is so concentrated that it's equal to about 5 gallons of the cheap stuff. The only problem with that is that anyone who works for you might not appreciate that, and waste a lot of our stuff thinking it's like the cheap stuff.
If anything rubs you the wrong way, that's fine. DON'T buy our product. It's fine. We'll be fine. You'll be fine, although your skin might be a tad dirtier and drier than it could be. But we'll all live. Happily. And that's what this is all about. Thanks.
Office of Sales Prevention and Continued Customer Contentedness