Page of Smiles

factory fresh UE anti-viral bar soapIn challenging times, it's best to remember that anything can be a source of humor, and that we can find a silver lining in every cloud.

If that sounds a little too upbeat and joyful for you, I agree.  We don't have to be cheerleaders, but at the same time we can find something that makes us smile no matter what.

So here's some basic information.  You can click on the picture to buy our bar soap, or here for a 6 pack and here for a 48 pack.

At the same time, maybe it'll make you smile.

There's a contact form below in case you have comments or would like answers that you don't find here.  We'd all love to hear from you.

The covered topics are in bold.
  1. What's up with the cost?
  2. Why do we make it ourselves?
  3. Why was this product invented?
  4. How was the product tested?
  5. How to surprise Grandma (or Grandpa)?
  6. What's the most important part of personal hygiene
  7. What obstacles did you need to overcome to develop the product?
  8. How we make it,
  9. Why is it named Earl?
  10. Who am I and why am I even trying to sell this
  11. How it was invented?
  12. Some stories from our first customers.

And here are the responses (to the bold questions above):

 

  What's up with the cost?
Natural, honest, and strong. That’s our motto, and here’s the honest truth. No matter how much it hurts.
A bar’s cost for raw materials, labor, and packaging is almost two fifty. We have to charge that much so we can grow. Our original mistake was using high quality ingredients right from the very start. We could reduce our raw material costs a lot if we used the same crap as other soaps, but our customers could tell the difference. They can be such a pain. So we decided to make good stuff and try to make a living at it.

 

 Why do we make it ourselves?
We make all our stuff ourselves, well, the important stuff anyway. Someone else does the printing, and there is the post office. But besides them, it’s all us. Sure, we could get someone else to make it, if we had a lot of money. But if we had a lot of money we’d be sailing around the world, but not on a cruise ship, that’s for sure. Perhaps not having the money was a good thing. It turns out that making our product is a lot like cooking, and getting the recipe right isn’t something you can just hire out. Sometimes home-made, and hand-made, really is the best.

 

 Why was this product invented?
I invented this soap because many of our customers worked in factories, where their hands were being worn away by abrasive soap. Soap with tiny stones, like sandpaper. Try wiping your hands with sandpaper every day. All I wanted to do was make a strong soap that could clean their hands, deep clean, without abrasives. Turns out that’s what I did, and nobody was more surprised than I was. Even more surprising was what it did to their skin. Made it smooth. The highest compliment I ever got was from a woman who said, Steve, I think of you every time I’m in the shower.

 

 How was the product tested?
Our motto is Natural, Honest and Strong. So here’s more honesty for you. We didn’t test our product on animals. We tested it on me. Then we tested it on other men. So no animals were harmed. When I started out, I’d coat my hands with oil, grease, rust and steel scale. Then I’d wash with different soaps I’d created. I eventually found a formula that worked, so I started using it regularly. One day I noticed that my hands didn’t pick up my wife’s nylons like Spider-man. Probably because I wasn’t helping her fold the laundry anyway. Just kidding. That’s when I began selling it to other men in factories, and the same thing happened to them. No, they weren’t folding laundry, but their wives noticed and made them bring the soap home. That’s how we tested it, in real life.

 

 How to surprise Grandma (or Grandpa)?
If you’re lucky enough to have a Grandma or Grandpa, you know they,re tough. They lived through the Clinton years, maybe even the Reagan years. But this latest threat is a biggy, and you want to do something nice for them but you can’t even visit. What’s left? Yes, a simple bar of soap is something that doesn’t cost a fortune, but the feeling it leaves on their skin will be something that makes them stronger, healthier. And they will think of you every time they use it. Some folks even use our soap on their hair. Yes, their hair is that dry. So get them a bar, you’ll be glad you did. We’ll even mail it directly so you don’t have to worry about their germs.